There was an old person of Deal,
Who in walking, used only his heel;
When they said, 'Tell us why?' --
He made no reply;
That mysterious old person of Deal.
There was an old man of Thermopylæ,
Who never did anything propersly;
But they said, 'If you choose,
To boil eggs in your shoes,
You shall never remain in Thermopylæ.
There was an old person of Minety
Who purchased five hundred and ninety
Large apples and pears,
Which he threw unawares,
At the heads of the people of Minety.
There was an old man whose despair
Induced him to purchase a hare:
Whereon one fine day,
He rode wholly away,
Which partly assuaged his despair.
There was an old person of Pinner,
As thin as a lath, if not thinner;
They dressed him in white,
And roll'd him up tight,
That elastic old person of Pinner.
There was an old person of Bromley,
Whose ways were not cheerful or comely;
He sate in the dust,
Eating spiders and crust,
That unpleasing old person of Bromley.
There was an old man of Dunrose;
A parrot seized hold of his nose.
When he grew melancholy,
They said, 'His name's Polly,'
Which soothed that old man of Dunrose.
There was an old man on the Border,
Who lived in the utmost disorder;
He danced with the cat,
And made tea in his hat,
Which vexed all the folks on the Border.
There was an old man of Spithead,
Who opened the window, and said, -
That doubtful old man of Spithead.
There was an old person of Sheen,
Whose expression was calm and serene;
He ate in the water,
And drank bottled porter,
That placid old person of Sheen.