There was a young person of Kew,
Whose virtues and vices were few;
But with blameable haste,
She devoured some hot paste,
Which destroyed that young person of Kew.
There was an old person of Sark,
Who made an unpleasant remark;
But they said, 'Don't you see
What a brute you must be!'
You obnoxious old perrson of Sark.
There was an old person of Filey,
Of whom his acquaintance spoke highly;
He danced perfectly well,
To the sound of a bell,
And delighted the people of Filey.
There was an old man of El Hums,
Who lived upon nothing but crumbs,
Which he picked off the ground,
With the other birds round,
In the roads and the lanes of El Hums.
There was an old man of West Dumpet,
Who possessed a large nose like a trumpet;
When he blew it aloud,
It astonished the crowd,
And was heard through the whole of West Dumpet.
There was an old man of Port Grigor,
Whose actions were noted for vigour;
He stood on his head,
Till his waistcoat turned red,
That eclectic old man of Port Grigor.
There was an old person of Bar,
Who passed all her life in a jar,
Which she painted pea-green,
To appear more serene,
That placid old person of Bar.
There was an old person of Pett,
Who was partly consumed by regret;
He sate in a cart,
And ate cold apple tart,
Which relieved that old person of Pett.
There was an old person of Newry,
Whose manners were tinctured with fury;
He tore all the rugs,
And broke all the jugs
Within twenty miles' distance of Newry.
There was an old person of Jodd,
Whose ways were perplexing and odd;
She purchased a whistle,
And sate on a thistle,
And squeaked to the people of Jodd.