There was an old person of Stroud,
Who was horribly jammed in a crowd;
Some she slew with a kick,
Some she scrunched with a stick,
That impulsive old person of Stroud.
There was an old man of Boulak,
Who sate on a Crocodile's back;
But they said, 'Tow'rds the night,
He may probably bite,
Which might vex you, old man of Boulak!'
There was an old man of Ibreem,
Who suddenly threaten'd to scream;
But they said, 'If you do,
We will thump you quite blue,
You disgusting old man of Ibreem!'
There was an old lady of France,
Who taught little ducklings to dance;
When she said, 'Tick-a-Tack!'--
They only said, 'Quack!'
Which grieved that old lady of France.
There was an old man who screamed out
Whenever they knocked him about;
So they took off his boots,
And fed him with fruits,
And continued to knock him about.
There was an old person of Woking,
Whose mind was perverse and provoking;
He sate on a rail,
With his head in a pail,
That illusive old person of Woking.
There was a young person of Bantry,
Who frequently slept in the pantry;
When disturbed by the mice,
She appeased them with rice,
That judicious young person of Bantry.
There was an Old Man at a Junction,
Whose feelings were wrung with compunction,
When they said, 'The Train's gone!'
He exclaimed 'How forlorn!'
But remained on the rails of the Junction.
There was an old man who when little
Fell casually into a kettle;
But, growing too stout,
He could never get out,
So he passed all his life in that kettle.
There was an old Lady of Winchelsea,
Who said, 'If you needle or pin shall see,
On the floor of my room,
Sweep it up with the broom!'
- That exhaustive old Lady of of Winchelsea.