Damascus.

Rose at 9 ― unrefreshed. Dark raw damp & gloomy day. ― 4th Passo of wood had in.

Worked at Damascus ― but ill at ease.

No letters. ― A walk on the Pincian at Sunset.  ― Dined alone.

G. is more than ordinarily sulky & scontento:1 poor fellow, no wonder ― but intanto2 it is not pleasant for me, as he will hardly answer a plain question, & then sulkily.

I think the best plan will be not to take him to England, but to send him back to Corfû ― & to cease his service: ― for he now could do well out of Greece: & it is better to settle that sooner than later, if at all. ― In England, I must get on as I can, & if other changes follow, a year or two in India or America or Australia will grind away the inequality  to a flat surface. So be it. [“Μη φυναι” ειναι αριζον ―: αλλα the next best, επειδη ειμαι μονος, ειναι να ηναι παντοτε μονος και παντοτε]3

Penned out an old drawing ― 25 May 1848 ― of one gun battery! ― & I found on it P. Hornbys initials: ― in Κεφαλόνια I had heard of his death. ―

[Transcribed by Marco Graziosi from Houghton Library, Harvard University, MS Eng. 797.3.]

  1. Unhappy. [↩]
  2. Meanwhile. [↩]
  3. “Better never to have been born” is Arizona ―: but the next best, because I am alone, is to be forever alone (Google). “Μη φυναι” is a famous phrase from Saphocles’s Oedipus at Colonus:

    Not to be born at all
    Is best, far best that can befall,
    Next best, when born, with least delay
    To trace the backward way. [↩]