A camel, with practical views
On the nutritive value of shoes,
To the mosque would repair
While the folks were at prayer,
Little dreaming their soles they would lose.

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXVI, July 1913, no. 3, p. 480.]

Once a pound-keeper chanced to impound
An ounce that was straying around.
The pound-keeper straight
Was fined for false weight,
Since he’d only one ounce in his pound.

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXVI, May 1913, no. 1, p. 158.]

Said the oyster: “To-morrow’s May-day;
But don’t call me early, I pray.
Just tuck me instead
In my snug oyster-bed,
And there till September I’ll stay.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXVI, June 1913, no. 1, p. 157.]

Said a squirrel who raced with a fan:
“You are built on a wonderful plan;
But you’d better take care
Or you’ll lose all you hair.
I advise you to stop, if you can.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, April 1913, no. 6, p. 962.]

There was a young waitress named Myrtle
Who carried a plate of mock turtle,
When, strange to relate,
She tripped, and the plate
That once was mock turtle turned turtle.

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, April 1913, no. 5, p. 961.]

Said the mole: “You would never suppose
How far back my family goes.
The first of my name
From Normandy came
On William the Conqueror’s nose.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, March 1913, no. 4, p. 802.]

One evening a goose, for a treat,
For the opera purchased a seat.
At the very first line
She exclaimed, “How divine!”
And for hissing was thrown in the street.

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, February 1913, no. 4, p. 640.]

Said a cheerful old bear at the Zoo:
“I never have time to feel blue.
If it bores me, you know,
To walk to and fro,
I reverse it and walk fro and to.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, January 1913, no. 3, p. 480.]

A PIG who to “hamlet” was taken
Formed a theory that could not be shaken.
“In Hamlet,” said he,
“A cipher we see
That proves it was written by Bacon.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, January 1913, no. 3, p. 479.]

Quoth a cat to me once: “Pray relieve
My suspense. What does eight from nine leave?”
Poor puss looked so cold
And so thin and so old,
I replied, “Quite a few, I believe.”

[Oliver Herford in The Century Magazine. Vol. LXXXV, December 1912, no. 2, p. 322.]